Matthew 6:14-15(NIV)
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Forgiveness is not about our efforts, it is about the grace of God, and asking Him to give us the desire to forgive.
If we were to carefully look at and examine all the tenets of Christian doctrine, we would probably agree that there are some challenging, even difficult things our faith asks of us.
Forgiveness is one of those things. Forgiveness is hard, messy, and complex. And yet, Jesus never asks anything of us, that he himself did not first model to us. If the Son of God himself calls us to forgive, Jesus shows us it is possible because he showed us how to do so through his very example.
While forgiveness is something Jesus modeled in his public ministry and teaching, it is not necessarily an easy thing to adhere to all the time. We are human, and when people deeply hurt us, it can feel confusing how to move forward in peace and wholeness, while not carrying the burden of that pain or trauma.
It’s About Grace and A Desire to Forgive:
Forgiveness is not about our effort. It is all about the grace of God, and a desire to forgive.
Without the grace of God, we cannot do anything – we would be completely lost! The same thing is true with forgiveness. We need God’s grace to help guide and inspire us, but we need to start and ask for it. God never forces himself on us, and so we need to actively participate, by asking for His help and grace.
God’s grace is always surrounding us and is rich for the taking – but we have to come close and access the bounty of it.
The reality is that very often, you may not actually want to forgive someone who has deeply hurt you or someone you love. Our human experience is filled with trauma and hurt – and sometimes forgiving a serious wrongdoing is the last thing we want to do.
It might feel easier to ignore the issue – to sweep it under the rug or just numb yourself to the reality of it. However, that never works. Our bodies and souls will hold onto pain as a way to protect ourselves. However, by asking Jesus to give you a desire to forgive a particular person slowly (and over time), you will begin to see changes in your own disposition.
Little by little, as Jesus begins working on your heart – it begins to thaw and grow less cold and harsh. Asking Jesus for the desire to forgive is a prayer He will always answer because it is good for us. A prayer like this helps us become more like Him, and love and forgive just like Jesus did.
It might take a long time – years even! That is not the point. What matters here is your reliance on Jesus and continuing to come back to him as you navigate this tender, sometimes difficult place.
No matter where you are on the journey of accepting or extending forgiveness, Jesus walks with you and goes with you to all those memories and experiences of your life. Let him lead you in the work of forgiveness and see where that takes you. Trust Jesus! Always!
